Extravert? I can see that..

"You are:

• very expressed extravert
  
• slightly expressed intuitive personality
  
• slightly expressed feeling personality
  
• slightly expressed perceiving personality

General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on both an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another."

I am sometimes skeptical of personality tests because most of them are very general and not often correct, but I feel that this test is mostly right. While I can't see a lot of parts of my personality, I can agree with this description of my "typology". Being generalized is not very fun, but when you learn that Mark Twain, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby are a lot like you, it's not that bad.

Emotional Bond between men

One example in my life of this bond is when I was playing golf. It was just a regular game, with my dad and my grandpa. My mom came along for one hole that I playing really well on. I had hit two perfect shots and was on the green in two shots on this par 5. The ball was only around 3 feet from the cup when we reached the green. My dad and grandpa stood aside, and watched me mark my ball and read the line. I was being patient, and everyone was silent. I started to line up to the ball and then my mom said "Hurry up, or we be here into the night." She hadn't picked up that this was for an eagle (which I had never done in my life before). All of us turned and looked at her, and she said "What, its not like its a tournament or anything." She hadn't picked up on this emotional bond. Luckily I made the putt and my dad, grandpa, and I were really excited. My mom didn't really care cause its just golf to her. She could not pick up on the emotional bond my dad, grandpa, and I were sharing. This bond can be seen everyday between men with women not being able to pick up watch is going on.

Comment on Self-Made Man

"So much of what happens emotionally between men isn't spoken aloud, and so the outsider, especially the female outsider who is used to emotional life being overt and spoken (often over-spoken), tends to assume that what isn't said isn't there. But it is there, and when you're inside it, it's as if you're suddenly hearing sounds that only dogs can hear" (Vincent, 46)


One of the biggest traditions at Gould is the Senior page. There is a lot of thought and time spent on your senior page, and you try to make it as meaningful as possible. After 4 years at Gould, I decided to only point out my guy friends in my page. I am not one to tell a friend how I feel about them and I feel like the senior page is a place that you do so in a semi-private way. I think this is a good example of what Norah Vincent is talking about. Even though I don't say it out loud doesn't mean I don't feel it. I can understand how an outsider like a woman can think that what isn't said isn't there, and without her point of view, I never would have realized this part of man to man bonding.

Emotional communication between men

Right now I cannot think of a specific example, but in general I definitely agree with the statement, that emotions are often not spoken aloud, but are still there.
I think this is especially the case with girls. It is pretty easy for me and some of my friends to sense what the other guy think about a certain girl just by the way he talk to her or mentions her without saying anything specific. Even without ever mentioning a girl, friends sometimes notice the interest in her which can certainly lead to awkward situation where you know that denying it won't get you anywhere and you have to look for another way to keep your secret at least somewhat secret. I have definitely been told by people that I like a girl and it was true mostly every time.
Maybe this is because guys are supposed to be rather simple and similar thinkers and therefore these things are easy to detect. Another reason could also be that male friends are closer to each other than people think at first. Two girls even without knowing each other well usually always find something to talk about if they want to. For boys it takes a long time to really become good friends, but by that point of time you know exactly how the other person thinks, acts and reacts.

Deeper voices, Deeper meaning?

Every time I come home from school, it takes about a week to adjust my speech 'setting' from 'teenage boy' to 'family.' My mom constantly complains that me and my roommates communicate in grunts and mumbles. "It is impossible to understand you," she says, "You sound like cavemen." This is true, to an extent-my words do tend to slur together in incomprehensible mutters. However, within my room, we understand each other perfectly. How? Aside from a scientific principal as yet unknown, I think it is due to the unspoken communication between me and my roommates. We have been together for four years and know each others patterns fairly well. I know that, when I wake up Adam in the morning, there are two separate sets of grumbles. One means, "I don't want to get up," and is interpreted by me as 'you need to keep trying to wake me up.' The other means, "I'm awake and if you keep on trying to wake me up I'll kill you." This grunt is often the precursor to many an interesting morning, and is best avoided. However, to an outsider, they would be one in the same. Adam knows that, when I say, "I'll remember," it means that, almost always, that I'll forget, or that I'm not listening. There are times when I know to leave somebody alone and give them space; there are times when I know they want somebody to commiserate with them. Although I am not the most adept reader of these signs, there are times when I simply 'know.' What does this have to do with gender roles? The author of 'Self Made Man,' makes the point that women are usually overly vocal with their emotions, and men are less than vocal. Perhaps men have merely developed an ability to convey in grunts what cannot be expressed in words, such as, "Uhnnn," meaning, "Can you get me a can of soda? I'm too lazy." Maybe my case is unique; I don't know for sure. All I know is that, "You can have some of my soda," means, "Stay away from my soda or I'll kill you."

Lawrence King

As a recent LA Times article reports, the defense attorney for Brandon McInerney, 14, who shot to death Lawrence King, 15, after King was flirting with him, claims that the school is at fault for "nurturing" King to explore his sexuality and break traditional gender norms. King had come out recently and would come to school in womens clothing and makeup. The defense attorney has also claimed that the school and the the victim, Lawrence King, should be blamed because he chose to wear clothing that did not fit with the traditional boundaries of his gender and the school did not stop this as "a substantial distraction," which was against school dress codes. (for more background on the story see this cnn article, or this PSA/news piece... the first minute or so)

The role that gender plays in this tragedy is quite interesting. Homophobia plays a large and quite visible role, but I think an equally as large issue was the fact the Lawrence King did not fit into traditional gender roles. The idea of a man wearing items of women's clothing when not joking, can be very threatening. And there are many men, not all of whom are queer,* who have been attacked, verbally, physically, or otherwise, for dressing outside of what is "Okay" for men to wear.

I personally don't really understand the threat of a guy in a skirt, or high heels, or a dress... what is the big deal? Why is this threating?

* I use the word queer in an academic sense of sexuality other than heterosexual and/or not fitting in with "traditional" ideas of sexuality.

Self Made Man, Post #1

Although I didn't read the entire two chapters of Self-Made Man, one particular passage struck me as I was frantically scanning the book before class. As the author first enters the bowling ally, she feels, naturally, nervous. However, once she realizes that her disguise will not be discovered, she notices one important difference in how men greet other men, as opposed to how women greet other women. Men, she says, greet each other much more warmly, as if there is an unspoken code of brotherhood between them, while women seem to hold something back. This is something I had never thought of, and yet, I know it to be at least partially true. In my group of friends, at least, everybody has their own 'role.' We, unknowingly, assume hidden titles, such as 'moral compass,' and 'the athletic one.' While these roles not enforced, they are never challenged. It is assumed that each person will have his 'niche.' I think, as men, we like to work together in a group, but only if each person has their own, 'job.' That job is theirs, only theirs, and nobody else's. My thought is that, perhaps it is different for women? Perhaps this 'system,' has something to do with it? I don't know.