Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Family Roles
My favorite poem in this collection was Anna Grasa, mostly because it describes the opposite feeling I have for my family, and yet somehow the same feeling. When I think of 'home,' my mind is momentarily confused; it has no image to grab onto. I'm not saying I was raised horribly or implying that my parents moved around ever two months; I'm simple saying that I, as a legal 'adult' make my own home. Both my parents were extremely supportive in raising me; I was always encouraged to read more, always had a big present under the tree. It is just that, when it comes to father figures, I feel like I have had many half-fathers. My real dad represents something genuine; I have common threads with him that I can find nowhere else in the world. However, I almost never see him. My step-dad represents the value of hard work to me, as well as strong family values. However, there seems to be an invisible barrier around us, never letting us get as close as a 'real' father and a son. My grandfather is the closest thing I have to a dad. We have the bond that me and my real dad have, and I see him all the time. However, he is only one man; he cannot fill the void of a father and a grand-father at the same time. Only my mom has remained constant. However, even she, with all her motherly love, cannot become a father. So, I am left with a half-home, a hodge-podge of partial family members, all more than they should be, and yet, not enough. Sometimes I wonder if growing up means having your own home to go back to. The poem, to me, represent a bittersweet irony that I have begun to realize. That man had a dad and a grand-mother, both playing their tradition roles. He chose the mother's love as the greater example of home over his father's masculinity; this probably being due to his stay in his own personal hell of a war. Why can't I choose to feel the way I do about members of my family? Why can't my mom be a father figure, or my grandfather be a dad? Does society really choose what roles people have to play in a tradition home? I have yet to find out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Very interesting, Lucien, especially your questions in the last paragraph. I think that the last two questions (Why can't my mom be a father figure, or my grandfather be a dad? Does society really choose what roles people have to play in a tradition home?) have a lot to do with our biology and the way we are "pre-wired." Maybe in a few decades and if children with only one parent become even more usual than they are now, we and the society we live in will adapt to this situation a little more and make it normal for children to see any role in anyone who is around.
Lucien, Thanks for your thoughtful reflection on the meaning of the poem to you. I think you are right our conception of "home" is shaped by gender roles and expectations. Typically, as we saw in the poem, "home" has more feminine than masculine attributes. Let's take this topic up in class.
Post a Comment