When most people think of a 'man's man,' they picture Clint Eastwood, or James Bond. "Real men don't cry," Clint Eastwood would say, guns smoking, standing over the body of his opponent. Or the infamous line, "Name's Bond. James Bond." Is this idyllic image a myth or a reality? My question to the reader is this: how could such a man exist? All men cry at some point in their lives; to not do so would be inhuman. Also, not all 'real men' can constantly prowl the west, shooting out all 'bad guys' in sight. If this was true there wouldn't be any men left at all. The underlying question here is, simply, what does it mean to be a man? Biologically, this question is easy to answer. However, after delving deeper into the question, a person realizes that it is not so simple. I hope to show the reader, through popular culture, that what we commonly take for manliness is often the opposite.
We all have hear the song, "Macho Man." As I kid, I remember hearing the song over the radio and singing the chorus, not realizing its meaning. Before we delve into the song itself, let's take a moment to examine disco, the musical movement during which the song was created. Disco is know for its homosexual undertones, and this song is no exception. The band who sings the song, Village People, gained a reputation for wearing outfits that mocked the 'macho man' mentioned in the song. At the time of my childhood, less than twenty years later, the song had become an anthem for the nacho-eating football-watcher, its origins forgotten. However, the songs lyrics usually remain omitted in the current versions
of the song; if you look at its original form, its meaning is clear.
Jogging in the mornings, go man go
works out in the health spa, muscles glow
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
ready to get down with, anyone he can.
To me, one quote from Self Made Man become clear, "I guess maybe that's one of the secrets of manhood that no man tells if he can help it. Every man's armor is borrowed and ten sizes too big, and beneath it, he's naked and insecure and hoping you won't see," (pg. 130). Like the Village People, Norah points out that the idea of a 'macho man' is ridiculous-that the macho man is merely a myth, a concept produced by western society designed to confine manhood to a narrow viewpoint. Now, years later, we are proving the Village People right by taking their song for face value-we have shown that manhood is whatever we want it to be.
If you have watched the movie 'Mulan' you probably remember the song, 'I'll Make a Man Out of You." The first time you hear the song, you take it for face value, getting caught up in the tale of the comical soldiers harsh introductions to manhood.
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you.
The meaning behind the man's words is clear: he equates physical strength with manliness, and these men are clearly lacking. However, the obvious irony is that the 'man' who improves the most is really a women: Mulan. In Raising Cane, the authors have this to say about male physical activity, "Size and sports are dominant themes in the males psychology. Men are impressed by big football players, tall basketball players, and heavy-weight boxers. Size and the power it connotes fascinates us," (pg. 145). However, even without big muscles or a tall frame, Mulan captures the respects of her peers. Once a listener realizes this, the once simple Disney story takes on more humorous undertones. Much like the previous example, the viewing public has once again proven that a 'man's man' is merely an ideal fabricated by our society. If you ask most people about Mulan, they will usually start to sing this song, smiling; they do not think of the gender roles behind the picture.
The last two songs have been mockeries of traditional manhood because of who was singing the song, or who the song was about. We can tell this because both songs are not obviously satire-at first, anyways. However, this song, composed and preformed by the only 'man's man' out of the three, is the only one that blatantly makes fun of the 'Tuff Man' stereotype.
I'd lay in a pile of burning money that I've earned
and not even worry about getting burned.
I'd climb the Empire State Building, fight Muhammad Ali
Just to have you baby close to me.
I believe that this songs purpose is a little self-mocking. Every man needs to make
fun of himself at some point in our lives. After acting too 'macho,' I know that I feel ridiculous. "You worry throughout your childhood about whether or not you are going to be a man. Then, once you are a man, you spend the rest of your life wondering whether they think you made it," (pg. 238). Men need to stop worrying about their masculinity so much. It is easy to get caught up in the idea of a 'macho man,' but, like The Thunderbirds show, it is easier to just poke fun at masculinity.
By now I hope the reader has a good idea of the 'Macho Man.' I believe he is a figment of our imagination, more ethereal than physical. Some people would argue that he is still out there, somewhere, deep in the Maine woods. However, do amount of deet, songs, or books can ever truly materialize Chuck Norris from the shadows.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Boss and The Streets?
The media and popular culture are large vehicles in building masculine identities in men. Music specifically, makes assumptions and puts ideas into heads of boys and men alike that are trying to figure out what it means to be a man. There are hundreds of social “norms” that are made by popular music because the artists are who we look up to and what they say in their songs we, as men, can take as advice. When the writer Norah Vincent went undercover as a man in all male environments, she encountered many of the social norms and tendencies that are prominent in popular music.
When Norah Vincent went undercover as Ned into an intense sales job, she encountered men who would do anything to make money and work their way up the ladder. Like in any primarily male environments, there was a hierarchy of the employees at the workplace. At the top, there was a seeming powerful man named Dano that had worked his way to be the leader of the high-octane group of men called Clutch Advertising. An excerpt from his morning meeting script says enough about the macho vibe on the job. “Everybody wants my job, and if they say they don’t they’re full of shit. Who wouldn’t? I make a lot of money, I wear a $20,000 dollar watch. The business is what gave me my net worth, my house with a pool, my cars, my vacations, my family. I’ve got a better-looking wife than I ever thought I’d get, and I got her because I’ve got a lot of money.” (Vincent, 205-206) Dano is the ultimate power tripping alpha male that was often present at the all male environments she experienced as Ned. Along with the alpha-male, there were the low end guys that were trying their best to make their way up to eventually be at the top.
Bruce Springsteen, a brilliant songwriter, wrote about this same male phenomenon in his song, “Man at the Top”.
“Everybody wants to be the man at the top
Everybody wants to be the man at the top
Aim your gun, son, and shoot your shot
Everybody wants to be the man at the top
Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief
Doctor, lawyer, Indian chief
One thing in common they all got Everybody wants to be the man at the top”
Ironically Bruce Springsteen’s nickname is “The Boss”, but his words in this song represent exactly what Dano spoke about. Every man wants power and everyone wants to make the most money, and his examples of people in his lyrics are all primarily men’s jobs. Doctors, lawyers, and especially an Indian Chief, they are all men and they all want to be at the top of their workplace.
When Norah entered the world of sex as Ned, she found that at times, men looked at women as objects that were used and then forgotten as soon as possible. While not all men act this way, it is a common theme when it comes to an all male environment. When she met a guy named Phil in a bar as Ned, he told her about the advice he received from his dad when he was twelve years old.
“ ‘The four F’s. That’s all you need to know about women. Find ‘em. Feel ‘em. Fuck ‘em and Forget ‘em.’ ” (Vincent, 62) The fact that his father taught him to objectify women shows that it is an impulse that men come to terms with at one point in their life.
The white rapper The Streets, writes about using women and forgetting them the next day in his song “Don’t Mug Yourself”.
“get my phone out
'bout to give this girl a shout
see if she had a nice time last night up town
ask if she fancies a tryin it again sometime
then Calv grabs the phone like oi oi oi
hold it down boy
your heads getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
By all means you can vibe with this girl
but just don't mug yourself that's all
don't mug yourself”
The song, filled with British slang, is essentially about not getting tangled with a girl that isn’t worth it. He tries to call her, but his friends tell him not to so he doesn’t “mug himself”, or screw himself over. The Streets make it a social norm to not call her after some late night relations. These young men are who other young men look up to, and it will instinctively make us have an impulse to do the same.
When Norah Vincent went undercover as a man she did find what it takes to be a man and what defines us. The media is the biggest motive in making us into men, and it is up to the specific boy to decide how the songs we love affect us. From The Boss to a white rapper from the UK, every artist encounters these masculine roles at one point in their career.
Bruce Springsteen- Man at the Top
Lyrics
The Streets- Don't Mug Yourself
Lyrics
When Norah Vincent went undercover as Ned into an intense sales job, she encountered men who would do anything to make money and work their way up the ladder. Like in any primarily male environments, there was a hierarchy of the employees at the workplace. At the top, there was a seeming powerful man named Dano that had worked his way to be the leader of the high-octane group of men called Clutch Advertising. An excerpt from his morning meeting script says enough about the macho vibe on the job. “Everybody wants my job, and if they say they don’t they’re full of shit. Who wouldn’t? I make a lot of money, I wear a $20,000 dollar watch. The business is what gave me my net worth, my house with a pool, my cars, my vacations, my family. I’ve got a better-looking wife than I ever thought I’d get, and I got her because I’ve got a lot of money.” (Vincent, 205-206) Dano is the ultimate power tripping alpha male that was often present at the all male environments she experienced as Ned. Along with the alpha-male, there were the low end guys that were trying their best to make their way up to eventually be at the top.
Bruce Springsteen, a brilliant songwriter, wrote about this same male phenomenon in his song, “Man at the Top”.
“Everybody wants to be the man at the top
Everybody wants to be the man at the top
Aim your gun, son, and shoot your shot
Everybody wants to be the man at the top
Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief
Doctor, lawyer, Indian chief
One thing in common they all got Everybody wants to be the man at the top”
Ironically Bruce Springsteen’s nickname is “The Boss”, but his words in this song represent exactly what Dano spoke about. Every man wants power and everyone wants to make the most money, and his examples of people in his lyrics are all primarily men’s jobs. Doctors, lawyers, and especially an Indian Chief, they are all men and they all want to be at the top of their workplace.
When Norah entered the world of sex as Ned, she found that at times, men looked at women as objects that were used and then forgotten as soon as possible. While not all men act this way, it is a common theme when it comes to an all male environment. When she met a guy named Phil in a bar as Ned, he told her about the advice he received from his dad when he was twelve years old.
“ ‘The four F’s. That’s all you need to know about women. Find ‘em. Feel ‘em. Fuck ‘em and Forget ‘em.’ ” (Vincent, 62) The fact that his father taught him to objectify women shows that it is an impulse that men come to terms with at one point in their life.
The white rapper The Streets, writes about using women and forgetting them the next day in his song “Don’t Mug Yourself”.
“get my phone out
'bout to give this girl a shout
see if she had a nice time last night up town
ask if she fancies a tryin it again sometime
then Calv grabs the phone like oi oi oi
hold it down boy
your heads getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
By all means you can vibe with this girl
but just don't mug yourself that's all
don't mug yourself”
The song, filled with British slang, is essentially about not getting tangled with a girl that isn’t worth it. He tries to call her, but his friends tell him not to so he doesn’t “mug himself”, or screw himself over. The Streets make it a social norm to not call her after some late night relations. These young men are who other young men look up to, and it will instinctively make us have an impulse to do the same.
When Norah Vincent went undercover as a man she did find what it takes to be a man and what defines us. The media is the biggest motive in making us into men, and it is up to the specific boy to decide how the songs we love affect us. From The Boss to a white rapper from the UK, every artist encounters these masculine roles at one point in their career.
Bruce Springsteen- Man at the Top
Lyrics
The Streets- Don't Mug Yourself
Lyrics
Monday, May 26, 2008
Gender Themes that Shape Boys and Young Men
To grow up from a boy to a men is long process with rules along gender themes. Many gender themes are portrayed in popular music are seen in both the books Raising Cain and Self-made Man. These gender themes describe how boys should act and develop into men. Music from the artists Our Lady Peace, Neil Young, and Of Montréal display these important gender roles of boys and men in their lyrics.
One major gender theme is how conforming to masculinity affects boys and men. Boys want to be strong and big. Boys been taught that these qualities define you as a man. Boys and men do not want to be seen as weak, and want to maintain the figure that society as granted as manly. In Raising Cain, boys learn this at a young age and do not want to be seen weak or as a wimp. “Most boys don’t want to risk being seen as a wimp-a ‘punk’. And many boys don’t know when to walk away” (223). This leads to violence that is natural for boys. To show emotion about an issue, or to not resolve something by violence can be seen as un-masculine. In the song Boy by Our Lady Peace the lyrics resemble the relationship between father and son like in Raising Cain, and the emotional strain the son is enduring. “I’ll be there to pick you up, and dust you off, and bring you home, and make you feel loved”. It can refer to the boy’s emotional frustration, with the lyrics ‘dust you off’ showing that he could have been fighting. Also showing no matter how anger his son due to the constraints of masculinity, he will be there to pick him up from school and care for him.
The rules of masculinity are another major gender theme throughout the whole novel Self-Made Man. Ned discovers that to keep his guise up, she must learn the boundaries and masculinity and how men act. When she is a woman, she is always stared down the street by watching men, showing their dominance. Yet when she becomes a man, they only look at her quickly, acknowledging her dominance too. “Only this time they didn’t stare. On the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back” (Vincent, 2). This shows how Ned gains dominance over women in this situation. This is common and can be compared to A Man Need a Maid by Neil Young. I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid, find a place nearby for her to stay. Just someone to keep my house clean, fix my meals and go away. This shows how man have a dominant figure over females and that the woman caters to fit the man’s needs. It is hard for Ned to believe that being a male gains you that dominance with others. Neil Young is singing that he needs someone to help him, but not to be in a relationship with him. Also Ned learns to rid her woman qualities when she laughs in a high pitch laugh or almost asked another guy if he’s read a book by a certain women. Her experience and this song show similarities of the guidelines of masculinity.
Another gender theme is the roles that each gender takes on and put up. This can be seen with Ned when he is at bars and when he is dating. “When I’d approached as Ned they had been sitting facing the bar. They had only bothered to turn halfway around to talk to me, their faces always in profile” (Vincent, 98). This shows the front the women that women put up but also shows that women are always on the defensive when confronted by men. They are quiet, and after looking you over, ignore you or turn you down. This is the opposite for men, who are constantly on the offensive was dating. This gender theme is constant in the world today. The band Of Montreal has a song called She’s a Rejecter that displays this gender theme. “My, my, you busted me like a Robocop, Strike me with your riding crop, I'm forever going celibate tomorrow, But tonight, like success, knows no shame.” This line from the song describes this confrontation between men and women. ‘My, my, you busted me like a Robocop’ describes how the woman stared him down, and turned him down with ‘strike me with you riding crop’. This shows the typical situation then young men face in their lives. ‘But tonight, like success, knows no shame” shows how he is going to keep trying. In Raising Cain, the issue of shame comes up, and boys and young men are sensitive to disrespect. This happens when young men get turned down, and need to learn to feel no shame and to try again. “Because they are caught in the trap of trying to satisfy the impossible requirements of the traditional masculine self-image, boys are sensitive to any perceived disrespect.” (223). In the song, he is going to try, and try again, even if he keeps getting turned down. This fits the gender theme of the role and fronts that men and women follow. This song describes was happened with Ned in Self-Made Man in her dating experience and how it affects boys and young men emotionally in Raising Cain.
The gender themes described in Raising Cain and Self-Made Man has many similarities with songs by Our Lady Peace, Neil Young, and Of Montreal. Even with these similarities, there are many more themes in other songs and books in the world. These themes help shape boys to men, and set the rules for how young men should act. Masculinity is the major factor and theme that creates these guidelines, and sets the standards for men and boys alike today. These books and songs help describe some of the gender themes that boys and young men are experiencing through their development.
Links to lyrics:
She's A Rejecter-Of Montreal
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858624061
Boy-Our Lady Peace
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858553190
A Man Needs A Maid-Neil Young
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=80406
One major gender theme is how conforming to masculinity affects boys and men. Boys want to be strong and big. Boys been taught that these qualities define you as a man. Boys and men do not want to be seen as weak, and want to maintain the figure that society as granted as manly. In Raising Cain, boys learn this at a young age and do not want to be seen weak or as a wimp. “Most boys don’t want to risk being seen as a wimp-a ‘punk’. And many boys don’t know when to walk away” (223). This leads to violence that is natural for boys. To show emotion about an issue, or to not resolve something by violence can be seen as un-masculine. In the song Boy by Our Lady Peace the lyrics resemble the relationship between father and son like in Raising Cain, and the emotional strain the son is enduring. “I’ll be there to pick you up, and dust you off, and bring you home, and make you feel loved”. It can refer to the boy’s emotional frustration, with the lyrics ‘dust you off’ showing that he could have been fighting. Also showing no matter how anger his son due to the constraints of masculinity, he will be there to pick him up from school and care for him.
The rules of masculinity are another major gender theme throughout the whole novel Self-Made Man. Ned discovers that to keep his guise up, she must learn the boundaries and masculinity and how men act. When she is a woman, she is always stared down the street by watching men, showing their dominance. Yet when she becomes a man, they only look at her quickly, acknowledging her dominance too. “Only this time they didn’t stare. On the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back” (Vincent, 2). This shows how Ned gains dominance over women in this situation. This is common and can be compared to A Man Need a Maid by Neil Young. I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid, find a place nearby for her to stay. Just someone to keep my house clean, fix my meals and go away. This shows how man have a dominant figure over females and that the woman caters to fit the man’s needs. It is hard for Ned to believe that being a male gains you that dominance with others. Neil Young is singing that he needs someone to help him, but not to be in a relationship with him. Also Ned learns to rid her woman qualities when she laughs in a high pitch laugh or almost asked another guy if he’s read a book by a certain women. Her experience and this song show similarities of the guidelines of masculinity.
Another gender theme is the roles that each gender takes on and put up. This can be seen with Ned when he is at bars and when he is dating. “When I’d approached as Ned they had been sitting facing the bar. They had only bothered to turn halfway around to talk to me, their faces always in profile” (Vincent, 98). This shows the front the women that women put up but also shows that women are always on the defensive when confronted by men. They are quiet, and after looking you over, ignore you or turn you down. This is the opposite for men, who are constantly on the offensive was dating. This gender theme is constant in the world today. The band Of Montreal has a song called She’s a Rejecter that displays this gender theme. “My, my, you busted me like a Robocop, Strike me with your riding crop, I'm forever going celibate tomorrow, But tonight, like success, knows no shame.” This line from the song describes this confrontation between men and women. ‘My, my, you busted me like a Robocop’ describes how the woman stared him down, and turned him down with ‘strike me with you riding crop’. This shows the typical situation then young men face in their lives. ‘But tonight, like success, knows no shame” shows how he is going to keep trying. In Raising Cain, the issue of shame comes up, and boys and young men are sensitive to disrespect. This happens when young men get turned down, and need to learn to feel no shame and to try again. “Because they are caught in the trap of trying to satisfy the impossible requirements of the traditional masculine self-image, boys are sensitive to any perceived disrespect.” (223). In the song, he is going to try, and try again, even if he keeps getting turned down. This fits the gender theme of the role and fronts that men and women follow. This song describes was happened with Ned in Self-Made Man in her dating experience and how it affects boys and young men emotionally in Raising Cain.
The gender themes described in Raising Cain and Self-Made Man has many similarities with songs by Our Lady Peace, Neil Young, and Of Montreal. Even with these similarities, there are many more themes in other songs and books in the world. These themes help shape boys to men, and set the rules for how young men should act. Masculinity is the major factor and theme that creates these guidelines, and sets the standards for men and boys alike today. These books and songs help describe some of the gender themes that boys and young men are experiencing through their development.
Links to lyrics:
She's A Rejecter-Of Montreal
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858624061
Boy-Our Lady Peace
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858553190
A Man Needs A Maid-Neil Young
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=80406
Tough Guys, Mommy's Boys and the Male Sex Drive
Growing up as a boy to become a man and being a man are both very difficult things that are usually not acknowledged by the society. Many struggle to be emotionless and tough and, to compensate this, some start to act violent and rude. Over the years several songwriters have paid some attention to these issues and wrote songs about them. The two books Raising Cain – Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, written by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, and Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent both deal with this theme as well.
One of the hardest things for males in most parts of the world is the expectation from the society that they are strong, tough and do not show emotions. Kindlon and Thompson notice that “every troubled boy has a different story, but their stories share a disturbing theme of emotional ignorance and isolation” (Raising Cain, p. 3) and that “stereotypical notions of masculine toughness deny a boy his emotions” (p. 4). What they are saying is that our society influences the upbringing of boys so heavily that they are denied their natural need to show emotions. Boston address this very same issue in their song To be a Man say “A gentle hand/So easy to want and so hard to give” by saying that it is easy for a man to want emotional attention, it is hard for them to get, because they are not supposed to. John Lennon sings about this in even two of his songs. In Jealous Guy he sings “I was swallowing my pain” and in My Mummy's Dead he goes “So much pain/I could never show it.” Both of these quotes from John Lennon show that he wants to show his pain and emotions, but can't, because he is supposed to be tough and strong and cannot cry. Not even monks can talk about their emotions and the need for physical proximity from other humans. When Ned says: “I could really use some cuddling right about now” (Self-Made Man, p. 156) he gets weird looks and knows that the monks think he is gay and weak, even though it was a normal thing to say for Norah Vincent when she was looking like a woman.
One of the main reasons for troubled boys and men is their upbringing in their families. Often boys are socially miseducated, grow up too close to their mothers and become too weak for the life outside their homes, not enough attention from their parents, or too much of it. It seems like anything parents do must go wrong with such a small chance for success. Kindlon and Thompson write: “When a grown man cries in therapy, it is almost always about his father, the man be hated or revered, alive or dead. The story may be one of a father's absences, his painful presence, or his limitations of spirit and feeling” (Raising Cain, p. 94). This proves how important fathers are to their sons and that they can leave deep pain that does not even go away when they sons are grown up men. In Mother John Lennon sings about his father: “Father, you left me, but I never left you/I needed you, you didn't need me/So I, I just got to tell you/Goodbye Goodbye.” John Lennon is singing about how his father never had time for him and did not contribute to his upbringing, even though John Lennon needed him to. Now as a grown up man he finally is over this pain and can say goodbye to his father who actually was never there in the first place. For boys in general it is usually more or less the opposite from his for the relationships with their mothers. At some point most boys start to pull away from their mothers to act tougher and manlier just as society expects them to (in this case society is mostly other boys and men). Most mothers give them their freedom, too, though “a boy never loses his need to be understood and loved by his mother” (Raising Cain, p. 117). This can lead to very complicated situations when son and mother realize that they need to get away from each other more often and yet they both feel that the son needs love and attention from his mother, even though he shouldn't. John Lennon addresses this topic in his song Mother, too, by singing: “Mother, you had me, but I never had you/I wanted you, you didn't want me/So I, I just got to tell you/Goodbye, goodbye.” This shows how John Lennon needed his mother, but she was not supportive. She probably did not want to be to close to her son, so he would grow up tough and strong like sons are supposed to. These examples are sad and full of misunderstanding, which mostly harms the young boys that have not yet figured out how to get along in their young lives.
Their relation women and girls defines a big part of men and boys in society and there could not be less stereotypes about this topic. Men are strong and tough, the protector, the moneymaker and the smart one in the family. Women are beautiful, but weak, they need protection and work only in the household. These stereotypes are proof for the often felt dominance of men over women. Norah Vincent describes the differences between a man and a woman walking down a street in New York City like this: “As a woman, you couldn't walk down those streets invisibly. [...] Their eyes followed you all the way up and down the street, never wavering, asserting their dominance as a matter of course. [As a man] on the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back. It was astounding, the difference, the respect they showed me by not looking at me, by purposely not staring” (Self-Made Man, p. 2-3). Every woman on the street was stared at by men no matter if she was attractive or not, but when a man walked up the street, the other men looked away. Staring at a woman shows the men's dominance over her and makes him feel stronger about himself, while on the other hand he pays respect to any man by not staring at him. The Beastie Boys made this theme the topic of her song Song for the Man, where they say: “Like you got the right/To look her up and down/What makes this world/So sick and evil.” The Beastie Boys realized how most men look at women and think it is wrong just like Norah Vincent does. Norah Vincent though sees the reason behind it and blames the society for it, while the Beastie Boys ask the men directly why they do this and expect them to change their behavior, because they know most women find these looks offensive and feel uncomfortable.
These are only some of the parallels between the books Raising Cain and Self-Made Man and music by John Lennon, Boston and the Beastie Boys. The fact that everything connects well with each other shows that these issues have been around for a while and also are not hidden to everyone, but have been discussed in public several times. This makes it even worse, that the society still lives by the very same values even though the weaknesses are well known.
Boston – To be a Man
Lyrics and the Video:
John Lennon – Jealous Guy
Lyrics and the Video:
John Lennon – My Mummy's Dead
Lyrics and the Video:
John Lennon – Mother
Lyrics and the Video:
Beastie Boys – Song for the Man
Lyrics and the Video:
One of the hardest things for males in most parts of the world is the expectation from the society that they are strong, tough and do not show emotions. Kindlon and Thompson notice that “every troubled boy has a different story, but their stories share a disturbing theme of emotional ignorance and isolation” (Raising Cain, p. 3) and that “stereotypical notions of masculine toughness deny a boy his emotions” (p. 4). What they are saying is that our society influences the upbringing of boys so heavily that they are denied their natural need to show emotions. Boston address this very same issue in their song To be a Man say “A gentle hand/So easy to want and so hard to give” by saying that it is easy for a man to want emotional attention, it is hard for them to get, because they are not supposed to. John Lennon sings about this in even two of his songs. In Jealous Guy he sings “I was swallowing my pain” and in My Mummy's Dead he goes “So much pain/I could never show it.” Both of these quotes from John Lennon show that he wants to show his pain and emotions, but can't, because he is supposed to be tough and strong and cannot cry. Not even monks can talk about their emotions and the need for physical proximity from other humans. When Ned says: “I could really use some cuddling right about now” (Self-Made Man, p. 156) he gets weird looks and knows that the monks think he is gay and weak, even though it was a normal thing to say for Norah Vincent when she was looking like a woman.
One of the main reasons for troubled boys and men is their upbringing in their families. Often boys are socially miseducated, grow up too close to their mothers and become too weak for the life outside their homes, not enough attention from their parents, or too much of it. It seems like anything parents do must go wrong with such a small chance for success. Kindlon and Thompson write: “When a grown man cries in therapy, it is almost always about his father, the man be hated or revered, alive or dead. The story may be one of a father's absences, his painful presence, or his limitations of spirit and feeling” (Raising Cain, p. 94). This proves how important fathers are to their sons and that they can leave deep pain that does not even go away when they sons are grown up men. In Mother John Lennon sings about his father: “Father, you left me, but I never left you/I needed you, you didn't need me/So I, I just got to tell you/Goodbye Goodbye.” John Lennon is singing about how his father never had time for him and did not contribute to his upbringing, even though John Lennon needed him to. Now as a grown up man he finally is over this pain and can say goodbye to his father who actually was never there in the first place. For boys in general it is usually more or less the opposite from his for the relationships with their mothers. At some point most boys start to pull away from their mothers to act tougher and manlier just as society expects them to (in this case society is mostly other boys and men). Most mothers give them their freedom, too, though “a boy never loses his need to be understood and loved by his mother” (Raising Cain, p. 117). This can lead to very complicated situations when son and mother realize that they need to get away from each other more often and yet they both feel that the son needs love and attention from his mother, even though he shouldn't. John Lennon addresses this topic in his song Mother, too, by singing: “Mother, you had me, but I never had you/I wanted you, you didn't want me/So I, I just got to tell you/Goodbye, goodbye.” This shows how John Lennon needed his mother, but she was not supportive. She probably did not want to be to close to her son, so he would grow up tough and strong like sons are supposed to. These examples are sad and full of misunderstanding, which mostly harms the young boys that have not yet figured out how to get along in their young lives.
Their relation women and girls defines a big part of men and boys in society and there could not be less stereotypes about this topic. Men are strong and tough, the protector, the moneymaker and the smart one in the family. Women are beautiful, but weak, they need protection and work only in the household. These stereotypes are proof for the often felt dominance of men over women. Norah Vincent describes the differences between a man and a woman walking down a street in New York City like this: “As a woman, you couldn't walk down those streets invisibly. [...] Their eyes followed you all the way up and down the street, never wavering, asserting their dominance as a matter of course. [As a man] on the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back. It was astounding, the difference, the respect they showed me by not looking at me, by purposely not staring” (Self-Made Man, p. 2-3). Every woman on the street was stared at by men no matter if she was attractive or not, but when a man walked up the street, the other men looked away. Staring at a woman shows the men's dominance over her and makes him feel stronger about himself, while on the other hand he pays respect to any man by not staring at him. The Beastie Boys made this theme the topic of her song Song for the Man, where they say: “Like you got the right/To look her up and down/What makes this world/So sick and evil.” The Beastie Boys realized how most men look at women and think it is wrong just like Norah Vincent does. Norah Vincent though sees the reason behind it and blames the society for it, while the Beastie Boys ask the men directly why they do this and expect them to change their behavior, because they know most women find these looks offensive and feel uncomfortable.
These are only some of the parallels between the books Raising Cain and Self-Made Man and music by John Lennon, Boston and the Beastie Boys. The fact that everything connects well with each other shows that these issues have been around for a while and also are not hidden to everyone, but have been discussed in public several times. This makes it even worse, that the society still lives by the very same values even though the weaknesses are well known.
Boston – To be a Man
Lyrics and the Video:
John Lennon – Jealous Guy
Lyrics and the Video:
John Lennon – My Mummy's Dead
Lyrics and the Video:
John Lennon – Mother
Lyrics and the Video:
Beastie Boys – Song for the Man
Lyrics and the Video:
Friday, May 16, 2008
My personality test came back negative...just kidding
After taking my personality test online, I found out that I was an INFP, or introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving. The analysis seem to be accurate-it describes INFP's as 'never seeming to lose their sense of wonder,' yet 'absent minded' and prone to a sense of 'failed competence.' I couldn't begin to describe how many times I have stared out my window at a beautiful spring scene, only to realize twenty minutes later that I am late for something. Usually, tests like this make me laugh. How can you group large amounts of people into a handful of archetypes with a mere seventy questions? This test, however, was different. The category in which I was grouped actually fit me, and the comments seemed to be fairly educated. It cannot fully escape the shortcoming of the 'online test,' but, all in all, I was impressed.
Jung Typology Test
I scored: Extraverted 11% Intuitive 25% Thinking 1% Judging 78%
This means I am:
- slightly expressed extravert
- moderately expressed intuitive personality
- slightly expressed thinking personality
- very expressed judging personality
I am surprised that it says I am extroverted, because I just think I am a rather quite person and I usually have a harder time going up to new people and start conversations with them. At least it says it is only slightly expressed, so I guess that works.
Which impresses me is that the first job that shows up in Management in Business and Education. Management in Business is more or less what I am thinking about doing right now, but I can also see myself working in a Management of Education later in life.
I like that Al Gore is the same type as me, because I admire his work to reduce global warming and that he came back after he lost so unluckily.
This means I am:
- slightly expressed extravert
- moderately expressed intuitive personality
- slightly expressed thinking personality
- very expressed judging personality
I am surprised that it says I am extroverted, because I just think I am a rather quite person and I usually have a harder time going up to new people and start conversations with them. At least it says it is only slightly expressed, so I guess that works.
Which impresses me is that the first job that shows up in Management in Business and Education. Management in Business is more or less what I am thinking about doing right now, but I can also see myself working in a Management of Education later in life.
I like that Al Gore is the same type as me, because I admire his work to reduce global warming and that he came back after he lost so unluckily.
Extravert? I can see that..
"You are:
I am sometimes skeptical of personality tests because most of them are very general and not often correct, but I feel that this test is mostly right. While I can't see a lot of parts of my personality, I can agree with this description of my "typology". Being generalized is not very fun, but when you learn that Mark Twain, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby are a lot like you, it's not that bad.
- very expressed extravert
- slightly expressed intuitive personality
- slightly expressed feeling personality
- slightly expressed perceiving personality
I am sometimes skeptical of personality tests because most of them are very general and not often correct, but I feel that this test is mostly right. While I can't see a lot of parts of my personality, I can agree with this description of my "typology". Being generalized is not very fun, but when you learn that Mark Twain, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby are a lot like you, it's not that bad.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Emotional Bond between men
One example in my life of this bond is when I was playing golf. It was just a regular game, with my dad and my grandpa. My mom came along for one hole that I playing really well on. I had hit two perfect shots and was on the green in two shots on this par 5. The ball was only around 3 feet from the cup when we reached the green. My dad and grandpa stood aside, and watched me mark my ball and read the line. I was being patient, and everyone was silent. I started to line up to the ball and then my mom said "Hurry up, or we be here into the night." She hadn't picked up that this was for an eagle (which I had never done in my life before). All of us turned and looked at her, and she said "What, its not like its a tournament or anything." She hadn't picked up on this emotional bond. Luckily I made the putt and my dad, grandpa, and I were really excited. My mom didn't really care cause its just golf to her. She could not pick up on the emotional bond my dad, grandpa, and I were sharing. This bond can be seen everyday between men with women not being able to pick up watch is going on.
Comment on Self-Made Man
"So much of what happens emotionally between men isn't spoken aloud, and so the outsider, especially the female outsider who is used to emotional life being overt and spoken (often over-spoken), tends to assume that what isn't said isn't there. But it is there, and when you're inside it, it's as if you're suddenly hearing sounds that only dogs can hear" (Vincent, 46)
One of the biggest traditions at Gould is the Senior page. There is a lot of thought and time spent on your senior page, and you try to make it as meaningful as possible. After 4 years at Gould, I decided to only point out my guy friends in my page. I am not one to tell a friend how I feel about them and I feel like the senior page is a place that you do so in a semi-private way. I think this is a good example of what Norah Vincent is talking about. Even though I don't say it out loud doesn't mean I don't feel it. I can understand how an outsider like a woman can think that what isn't said isn't there, and without her point of view, I never would have realized this part of man to man bonding.
One of the biggest traditions at Gould is the Senior page. There is a lot of thought and time spent on your senior page, and you try to make it as meaningful as possible. After 4 years at Gould, I decided to only point out my guy friends in my page. I am not one to tell a friend how I feel about them and I feel like the senior page is a place that you do so in a semi-private way. I think this is a good example of what Norah Vincent is talking about. Even though I don't say it out loud doesn't mean I don't feel it. I can understand how an outsider like a woman can think that what isn't said isn't there, and without her point of view, I never would have realized this part of man to man bonding.
Emotional communication between men
Right now I cannot think of a specific example, but in general I definitely agree with the statement, that emotions are often not spoken aloud, but are still there.
I think this is especially the case with girls. It is pretty easy for me and some of my friends to sense what the other guy think about a certain girl just by the way he talk to her or mentions her without saying anything specific. Even without ever mentioning a girl, friends sometimes notice the interest in her which can certainly lead to awkward situation where you know that denying it won't get you anywhere and you have to look for another way to keep your secret at least somewhat secret. I have definitely been told by people that I like a girl and it was true mostly every time.
Maybe this is because guys are supposed to be rather simple and similar thinkers and therefore these things are easy to detect. Another reason could also be that male friends are closer to each other than people think at first. Two girls even without knowing each other well usually always find something to talk about if they want to. For boys it takes a long time to really become good friends, but by that point of time you know exactly how the other person thinks, acts and reacts.
I think this is especially the case with girls. It is pretty easy for me and some of my friends to sense what the other guy think about a certain girl just by the way he talk to her or mentions her without saying anything specific. Even without ever mentioning a girl, friends sometimes notice the interest in her which can certainly lead to awkward situation where you know that denying it won't get you anywhere and you have to look for another way to keep your secret at least somewhat secret. I have definitely been told by people that I like a girl and it was true mostly every time.
Maybe this is because guys are supposed to be rather simple and similar thinkers and therefore these things are easy to detect. Another reason could also be that male friends are closer to each other than people think at first. Two girls even without knowing each other well usually always find something to talk about if they want to. For boys it takes a long time to really become good friends, but by that point of time you know exactly how the other person thinks, acts and reacts.
Deeper voices, Deeper meaning?
Every time I come home from school, it takes about a week to adjust my speech 'setting' from 'teenage boy' to 'family.' My mom constantly complains that me and my roommates communicate in grunts and mumbles. "It is impossible to understand you," she says, "You sound like cavemen." This is true, to an extent-my words do tend to slur together in incomprehensible mutters. However, within my room, we understand each other perfectly. How? Aside from a scientific principal as yet unknown, I think it is due to the unspoken communication between me and my roommates. We have been together for four years and know each others patterns fairly well. I know that, when I wake up Adam in the morning, there are two separate sets of grumbles. One means, "I don't want to get up," and is interpreted by me as 'you need to keep trying to wake me up.' The other means, "I'm awake and if you keep on trying to wake me up I'll kill you." This grunt is often the precursor to many an interesting morning, and is best avoided. However, to an outsider, they would be one in the same. Adam knows that, when I say, "I'll remember," it means that, almost always, that I'll forget, or that I'm not listening. There are times when I know to leave somebody alone and give them space; there are times when I know they want somebody to commiserate with them. Although I am not the most adept reader of these signs, there are times when I simply 'know.' What does this have to do with gender roles? The author of 'Self Made Man,' makes the point that women are usually overly vocal with their emotions, and men are less than vocal. Perhaps men have merely developed an ability to convey in grunts what cannot be expressed in words, such as, "Uhnnn," meaning, "Can you get me a can of soda? I'm too lazy." Maybe my case is unique; I don't know for sure. All I know is that, "You can have some of my soda," means, "Stay away from my soda or I'll kill you."
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Lawrence King
As a recent LA Times article reports, the defense attorney for Brandon McInerney, 14, who shot to death Lawrence King, 15, after King was flirting with him, claims that the school is at fault for "nurturing" King to explore his sexuality and break traditional gender norms. King had come out recently and would come to school in womens clothing and makeup. The defense attorney has also claimed that the school and the the victim, Lawrence King, should be blamed because he chose to wear clothing that did not fit with the traditional boundaries of his gender and the school did not stop this as "a substantial distraction," which was against school dress codes. (for more background on the story see this cnn article, or this PSA/news piece... the first minute or so)
The role that gender plays in this tragedy is quite interesting. Homophobia plays a large and quite visible role, but I think an equally as large issue was the fact the Lawrence King did not fit into traditional gender roles. The idea of a man wearing items of women's clothing when not joking, can be very threatening. And there are many men, not all of whom are queer,* who have been attacked, verbally, physically, or otherwise, for dressing outside of what is "Okay" for men to wear.
I personally don't really understand the threat of a guy in a skirt, or high heels, or a dress... what is the big deal? Why is this threating?
* I use the word queer in an academic sense of sexuality other than heterosexual and/or not fitting in with "traditional" ideas of sexuality.
The role that gender plays in this tragedy is quite interesting. Homophobia plays a large and quite visible role, but I think an equally as large issue was the fact the Lawrence King did not fit into traditional gender roles. The idea of a man wearing items of women's clothing when not joking, can be very threatening. And there are many men, not all of whom are queer,* who have been attacked, verbally, physically, or otherwise, for dressing outside of what is "Okay" for men to wear.
I personally don't really understand the threat of a guy in a skirt, or high heels, or a dress... what is the big deal? Why is this threating?
* I use the word queer in an academic sense of sexuality other than heterosexual and/or not fitting in with "traditional" ideas of sexuality.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Self Made Man, Post #1
Although I didn't read the entire two chapters of Self-Made Man, one particular passage struck me as I was frantically scanning the book before class. As the author first enters the bowling ally, she feels, naturally, nervous. However, once she realizes that her disguise will not be discovered, she notices one important difference in how men greet other men, as opposed to how women greet other women. Men, she says, greet each other much more warmly, as if there is an unspoken code of brotherhood between them, while women seem to hold something back. This is something I had never thought of, and yet, I know it to be at least partially true. In my group of friends, at least, everybody has their own 'role.' We, unknowingly, assume hidden titles, such as 'moral compass,' and 'the athletic one.' While these roles not enforced, they are never challenged. It is assumed that each person will have his 'niche.' I think, as men, we like to work together in a group, but only if each person has their own, 'job.' That job is theirs, only theirs, and nobody else's. My thought is that, perhaps it is different for women? Perhaps this 'system,' has something to do with it? I don't know.
Self-Made Man: The friendship Ned Gains
Ned had successfully integrated 'himself' into the men's night bowling club. She got to see the other sides of mens life's with the friendships they share with each-other. One example is Jim, who cracks jokes all the time and keeps their whole team involved. Ned feels connected and involved with the group and does not fill shunned in anyway at all. Jim lives in a trailer park and jokes about how it is the 'galvanized ghettos' with all these wiggers walking around. Ned realizes that even when Jim jokes about stuff that involves sland with race, he was not racist in anyway. She realizes that all the guys took people at face level. There's a quote on pg. 31 Jim confronted a black person who asked for money. And the black guy thought Jim was afraid cause he was black, but was afraid because the guy had just come out of the woods.
Ned sees that he has become involved with friends who respect him, share jokes with him, and are nice well rounded people living hard working lives.
Ned sees that he has become involved with friends who respect him, share jokes with him, and are nice well rounded people living hard working lives.
Comment on Self-Made Man
"As a women, you couldn't walk down those streets invisibly. You were an object of desire or at least semiprurient interest to the men who waited there, even if you weren't pretty.[...] We walked by those same groups of men. Only this time they didn't stare. On the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back. It was astounding, the difference, the respect they showed me by not looking at me, by purposly not staring."
This quote at the very beginning of the book stood out to me a lot, because it is so true. In the paragraph following this quote, Norah Vincent explains that this is just the way boys are brought up and because every men does it, they just copy this behavior and act the same way without thinking about it. Most women do not like to be stared at by every men they walk by and think it is rude, but I have never heard a guy talk about it this way, even though it makes a lot of sense when you think about it. I have often seen guys in groups even point out pretty women to each other when they were walking by and even pointing their fingers at them. Norah Vincents writes that she finds it rude, but eventually got used to getting stared at all the time. I have never really thought about it a lot, because it just seemed so natural to me. Everyone does it everywhere in the world. But yet the feelings of the women are so obvious and easy to understand if I think about it.
I think I mostly see guys stare at girls, when they are in groups like sport teams on trips or their male co-workers. This kind of shows how weak we are that we only really feel strong enough to stare at women when we are in groups of people that protect us and also that we actually do know or at least sense that it must not be the greatest thing for most women to be stared at by a bunch of guys.
This quote at the very beginning of the book stood out to me a lot, because it is so true. In the paragraph following this quote, Norah Vincent explains that this is just the way boys are brought up and because every men does it, they just copy this behavior and act the same way without thinking about it. Most women do not like to be stared at by every men they walk by and think it is rude, but I have never heard a guy talk about it this way, even though it makes a lot of sense when you think about it. I have often seen guys in groups even point out pretty women to each other when they were walking by and even pointing their fingers at them. Norah Vincents writes that she finds it rude, but eventually got used to getting stared at all the time. I have never really thought about it a lot, because it just seemed so natural to me. Everyone does it everywhere in the world. But yet the feelings of the women are so obvious and easy to understand if I think about it.
I think I mostly see guys stare at girls, when they are in groups like sport teams on trips or their male co-workers. This kind of shows how weak we are that we only really feel strong enough to stare at women when we are in groups of people that protect us and also that we actually do know or at least sense that it must not be the greatest thing for most women to be stared at by a bunch of guys.
Self-Made Man
I felt the same as the testimonial reads on the cover of Self-Made Man, "I was hooked from page 1" . The way Norah Vincent recaps the life changing experience she had makes you feel like you were right there with her. I was immediately engaged in the second chapter where she talks about meeting a man in an Men's bowling night.
"As he extended his arm to shake my hand, I extended mine, too, in a sweeping motion. Our palms met with a soft pop and I squeezed assertively the way I'd seen men do at parties when they gathered in someone's living room to watch a football game. From the outside, this ritual had always seemed overdone to me. Why all the macho ceremony? But from the inside it was completely different. There was something so warm and bonded in this handshake. Receiving it was a rush, an instant inclusion in a camaraderie that felt very old and practiced." (Vincent, 25)
It is interesting to me that women see the ritual of a big, hearty handshake as overdone. The macho ceremony is something that is shared between men but also something Ned (Norah's male alter-ego) had never experienced, and from the inside she saw it very differently. I cherish that form of friendship and camaraderie and having another perspective, especially from the other sex, is very interesting.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
THIS ACADEMY'S LIFE
And here's "This Academy's Life" - thanks to Adrian Bouthot for producing the program...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I got a D on my man test....
After I took the gender survey, I jokingly said, 'Guys, I failed my man-test.' Looking past the humor, what does failing a gender survey mean? Well, it means I didn't stand up to the stereotypical archetype of 'man.' The values the test associated with men were 'assertive, dominant, and agressive.' If you ask any of my roommates, they will tell you, at least partially in jest, that I am a 'pushover.' I hardly ever argue (unless I am in especially tired) and usually do what people say. However, this trait that makes me 'un-manly' is both a strength as well as a weakness. I have trouble saying no to things, but, for all my un-manliness, most people consider me a 'nice' person. As D.C. says, "There is your biological gender, and there is the way you act." Who knows where the line truely line, and, here's a thought, does it matter? Mr. Penley said to me once, (and excuse me if I quote you incorrectly) that 'traditional' gender roles are constructs of society. I believe this is very true. As we look to the future, the out-dated and the new are mixing, blending into a new definition of manhood. So what does this mean for me? I don't know. Maybe someday, when men finally understand women and vice-versa, we will find out.
Gender Traits Test
My result for the Gender Traits Test was negative 1, which is more or less right in the middle of the scale and translates to androgynous. I was not very surprised by the result, because I grew up around a lot of girls and women and also agree that some of my characteristics are considered rather female by society. I would also guess that most people are more in the middle than at either of the top ends.
Gender Test
Today on the gender test I scored -24 which is in the masculine range. I expected that because many of the qualities were ones that I remember exercising when I was younger. I have a extrovert personality, and talk and work with many people without a problem. I always defend my beliefs or information that I know is correct. I do not really care about the sensitivity to the needs of others or about the feelings of others. I shouldn't be sad or angry if a friend was due to something.
Gender Traits Test
As a young man, it is instinct to try to lean towards the "manly" side when taking a gender traits test. I didnt follow my instinct and I was truthful in my descriptions of my character and behavior, and I found out I have an androgynous personality. During our discussion DC brought up a point that my image on campus is more of a extroverted, jock type, and he was surprised to find that I scored an androgynous character and I'm happy about that. Altogether our class was wide spread amongst scores, and it was interesting to compare our thoughts to what the test told us.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Masculinity in the Movies and War
This article is an interesting look at the current status of the masculine ideal in American film.
The author, Christopher Goodwin, is arguing that the gender paradigm has recently shifted away from stereotypical manly men (think Arnold in Conan the Barbarian or anything by John Wayne.) There are no movie stars who have the masculine appeal of Cary Grant or other early stars. The male romantic leads of the day are most often nerds, geeks, or others who have a "flawed" sense of what it means to be a true man.
He seems to think that this is a troublesome development in terms of how gender is viewed within American society.
(Shift to me postulating with some of the ideas from the end of the article:)
But it is definitely a reflection of a different time. Even as late as the end of the cold war, warfare was something that was fought on the ground against enemies you could mostly see. It required a certain amount of physical prowess and strength. Since the fall of the USSR, the American army has taken a very different role. Now, rather than being in a struggle for military supremacy with another militaristic super power, the American armed forces now find themselves more often in the role of peace keeper and occupier, not struggling against an army but controlling an "unruly" country. These roles are much more associated with traditionally feminine charactistics: placations, fairness, and keeping children (and many Americans seems to think of the Arabs and others as being beneath us, something like children.)
Also with the ever increasing role that computers play in our lives, the man as hunter, and later warrior, is becoming a surprising and somewhat unexpected casualty. Fighting is not as much about strength as it once was. Battles are not won but the muscles of the common soldiers. Battles are won by the techies. Computers are responsible for much of the American prowess. And computers are where "geeks" shine. In addition, the current regions of fighting that the US finds themselves in are focused less on hand to hand combat and more on guerrilla warfare , suicide bombers, and automated bombs. This means that the focus on the importance of "masculine" skills, fighting, strength, and ruggedness has lessened a great deal. And the "weaker" skills of more mental tasks have taken greater importance.
The author, Christopher Goodwin, is arguing that the gender paradigm has recently shifted away from stereotypical manly men (think Arnold in Conan the Barbarian or anything by John Wayne.) There are no movie stars who have the masculine appeal of Cary Grant or other early stars. The male romantic leads of the day are most often nerds, geeks, or others who have a "flawed" sense of what it means to be a true man.
He seems to think that this is a troublesome development in terms of how gender is viewed within American society.
(Shift to me postulating with some of the ideas from the end of the article:)
But it is definitely a reflection of a different time. Even as late as the end of the cold war, warfare was something that was fought on the ground against enemies you could mostly see. It required a certain amount of physical prowess and strength. Since the fall of the USSR, the American army has taken a very different role. Now, rather than being in a struggle for military supremacy with another militaristic super power, the American armed forces now find themselves more often in the role of peace keeper and occupier, not struggling against an army but controlling an "unruly" country. These roles are much more associated with traditionally feminine charactistics: placations, fairness, and keeping children (and many Americans seems to think of the Arabs and others as being beneath us, something like children.)
Also with the ever increasing role that computers play in our lives, the man as hunter, and later warrior, is becoming a surprising and somewhat unexpected casualty. Fighting is not as much about strength as it once was. Battles are not won but the muscles of the common soldiers. Battles are won by the techies. Computers are responsible for much of the American prowess. And computers are where "geeks" shine. In addition, the current regions of fighting that the US finds themselves in are focused less on hand to hand combat and more on guerrilla warfare , suicide bombers, and automated bombs. This means that the focus on the importance of "masculine" skills, fighting, strength, and ruggedness has lessened a great deal. And the "weaker" skills of more mental tasks have taken greater importance.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
This Academy's Life
"This Academy's Life" audio Project about masculinity at the academy is underway. Topics include mother-son relationships, father-son relationships, masculinity and alcohol/drugs, and relationships with women. Click here for a short intro to the project.
Monday, April 14, 2008
More on Thomas Beatie
A few opinions about the pregnant transman Thomas Beatie.
CNN (Video)
Jeff Jacoby's Opinion (text)
Fox News's Take (video)
Fox News's Apology (video)
CNN (Video)
Jeff Jacoby's Opinion (text)
Fox News's Take (video)
Fox News's Apology (video)
Testosterone
Thanks for the heads up on "This American Life" Adrian - we'll listen to this in class. - DC
This American Life
This American Life
Friday, April 11, 2008
CNN Headline News: Mom Saw Warning signs
Just published today, it talks about what we have been reading in Raising Cain.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/11/boudreau.campus.rage/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/11/boudreau.campus.rage/index.html
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Family Roles
My favorite poem in this collection was Anna Grasa, mostly because it describes the opposite feeling I have for my family, and yet somehow the same feeling. When I think of 'home,' my mind is momentarily confused; it has no image to grab onto. I'm not saying I was raised horribly or implying that my parents moved around ever two months; I'm simple saying that I, as a legal 'adult' make my own home. Both my parents were extremely supportive in raising me; I was always encouraged to read more, always had a big present under the tree. It is just that, when it comes to father figures, I feel like I have had many half-fathers. My real dad represents something genuine; I have common threads with him that I can find nowhere else in the world. However, I almost never see him. My step-dad represents the value of hard work to me, as well as strong family values. However, there seems to be an invisible barrier around us, never letting us get as close as a 'real' father and a son. My grandfather is the closest thing I have to a dad. We have the bond that me and my real dad have, and I see him all the time. However, he is only one man; he cannot fill the void of a father and a grand-father at the same time. Only my mom has remained constant. However, even she, with all her motherly love, cannot become a father. So, I am left with a half-home, a hodge-podge of partial family members, all more than they should be, and yet, not enough. Sometimes I wonder if growing up means having your own home to go back to. The poem, to me, represent a bittersweet irony that I have begun to realize. That man had a dad and a grand-mother, both playing their tradition roles. He chose the mother's love as the greater example of home over his father's masculinity; this probably being due to his stay in his own personal hell of a war. Why can't I choose to feel the way I do about members of my family? Why can't my mom be a father figure, or my grandfather be a dad? Does society really choose what roles people have to play in a tradition home? I have yet to find out.
Men in War Poems
AB Negative (The Surgeon’s Poem) Compared to D.C. Berry
Both of these poems tell us about masculinity in the war. The first poem called AB Negative, which tells the story about a women, which turns in to the efforts of the surgeons trying to save her, and her drifting off, starting to zone out. In the poem it says “Thalia fields is gone, long gone” which can let us imply that she died. Then it says that the surgeons was in tears, and needed help from a nurse to be sat down. This shows the more feminine side, with the male surgeon breaking down, and being escorted by a woman. Also the author illustrates the women’s feeling by the colors she is seeing when she is drifting in and out of consciousness.
In the D.C. Berry poem, it tells what it feels like to be shot in the lung in a Vietnam rice field. The poem is staggering in its writing to give the feeling like the soldier is distorted in pain. “You are lungshot in a race paddy and you are taking a drink of your own homeostatic globules each time you swallow a pail of air”. This poem is showing the graphite effects of the pain, while The Surgeons Poem is softer, with the woman drifting in and out of consciousness easily, with no pain.
This can all be compared to the Vietnam video, were the soldiers were trained in boot camp to ‘kill, kill, kill’ and to “pray for war”. These poems show both the masculine and feminine sides of the soldiers. That getting shot in the lung is painful, and it takes your mind off everything except your lung and the pain you are feeling. While in The Surgeons Poem the male figure broke down from the pressures of war, and the death surrounded by it. These poems show how the war brought out different sides of males and how it was nothing that they had predicted it to be.
Both of these poems tell us about masculinity in the war. The first poem called AB Negative, which tells the story about a women, which turns in to the efforts of the surgeons trying to save her, and her drifting off, starting to zone out. In the poem it says “Thalia fields is gone, long gone” which can let us imply that she died. Then it says that the surgeons was in tears, and needed help from a nurse to be sat down. This shows the more feminine side, with the male surgeon breaking down, and being escorted by a woman. Also the author illustrates the women’s feeling by the colors she is seeing when she is drifting in and out of consciousness.
In the D.C. Berry poem, it tells what it feels like to be shot in the lung in a Vietnam rice field. The poem is staggering in its writing to give the feeling like the soldier is distorted in pain. “You are lungshot in a race paddy and you are taking a drink of your own homeostatic globules each time you swallow a pail of air”. This poem is showing the graphite effects of the pain, while The Surgeons Poem is softer, with the woman drifting in and out of consciousness easily, with no pain.
This can all be compared to the Vietnam video, were the soldiers were trained in boot camp to ‘kill, kill, kill’ and to “pray for war”. These poems show both the masculine and feminine sides of the soldiers. That getting shot in the lung is painful, and it takes your mind off everything except your lung and the pain you are feeling. While in The Surgeons Poem the male figure broke down from the pressures of war, and the death surrounded by it. These poems show how the war brought out different sides of males and how it was nothing that they had predicted it to be.
Men & War
Poems: D.C. Berry and AB Negative
What can these poems tell us about men’s experiences in war and masculinity?
Both peoems D. C. Berry and AB Negative (The Surgeon’s Poem) deal with a person dying in war. On is a woman in Iraq who is flying to hosptial in Germany, but dies on her way and the other one is about a man in Vietnam getting shot in his lung. The narrators of both poems are soldiers and seem to be extremely moved by the brutality and cruelty of the each war.
In D. C. Berry the narrator is trying to express how the war changed his view of the world. It says: „The sun goes down in a different way, when you are lungshot.“ This is certainly true and it shows how this man has learned to appreciate the little things in life like a sunset, which happens every day.
In AB Negative the narrator describes the death of a female soldiers which is especially moving, because we do not hear very frequently about killed female soldiers. This event must have had a huge impact on the narrator. The scene is described with a lot of blood, so all the blood in the war has probably effected the narrator.
Both narrators seem to regret their decision to go to war, because they have seen so much cruelty and seeing people die everyday is a terrible thing. Even though it is considered very masculin to go to war, it does not seem like the two narrators care a lot about it anymore. Also, because in AB Negative it is a female soldier who is killed, it seems like they do not think that beeing a soldier proves your masculinty, but that most people probably should not go to war, because as said in the movie „they make you become an animal.“
What can these poems tell us about men’s experiences in war and masculinity?
Both peoems D. C. Berry and AB Negative (The Surgeon’s Poem) deal with a person dying in war. On is a woman in Iraq who is flying to hosptial in Germany, but dies on her way and the other one is about a man in Vietnam getting shot in his lung. The narrators of both poems are soldiers and seem to be extremely moved by the brutality and cruelty of the each war.
In D. C. Berry the narrator is trying to express how the war changed his view of the world. It says: „The sun goes down in a different way, when you are lungshot.“ This is certainly true and it shows how this man has learned to appreciate the little things in life like a sunset, which happens every day.
In AB Negative the narrator describes the death of a female soldiers which is especially moving, because we do not hear very frequently about killed female soldiers. This event must have had a huge impact on the narrator. The scene is described with a lot of blood, so all the blood in the war has probably effected the narrator.
Both narrators seem to regret their decision to go to war, because they have seen so much cruelty and seeing people die everyday is a terrible thing. Even though it is considered very masculin to go to war, it does not seem like the two narrators care a lot about it anymore. Also, because in AB Negative it is a female soldier who is killed, it seems like they do not think that beeing a soldier proves your masculinty, but that most people probably should not go to war, because as said in the movie „they make you become an animal.“
Men and War
As a 17 year old young man in Westford, Massachusetts my favorite English class was "Men and War" taught by a wise, grizzly old English teacher named Jim McNiff who was a Vietnam veteren. Having a teacher who taught in 'Nam gave him a certain aura to an impressionable bunch of teenagers. With time, I've come to appreciate the devastating effect that war has on men. Some of that understanding has come through men who fought in Vietnam along with Jim McNiff. "Winter Solder" a sobering documentary about Vietnam veterens organizing against the war, illustrates the horrifying tragedies that many of them experienced and perpetrated firsthand. In poetry, we can find the deeper scars that men encounter on the battlefield. In "After Our War" we see the emotional scars that soldiers carry with them back home characterized as body parts. "Will the myriad world surrender new metaphor? After our war, how will love speak?" In "Anna Grasa," the vulnerable inner emotional life of veterens is revealed in a young man's love for the security and safety that his beloved grandmother represents. More recently, the Iraq War has become another crucible in which men are made and destroyed. "The Marlboro Marine" shows how the posterchild of the US military tragically became the posterboy for PTSD. Another soldier-poet (Brian Turner), in AB Negative (The Surgeon's Poem) flips gender roles on us as a tearful, caring surgeon breaks down over the death of a young American female soldier. Ultimately, in "Here, Bullet" Tuner takes us even deeper to consider how we may carry war's death wish inside us all. After thousands of years of men making war on this planet, Tuner may unfortunately be right, "here is where the world ends, every time."
Monday, April 7, 2008
You Spin Me 'Round - Dead or Alive
">
This video is interesting, to say the least. The masculinity of the lyrics (Open up your lovin' arms, I want some) is directly contrasted by the androgynous clothing worn in the video. The main singer, Pete Burn, is a major celebrity in the UK. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Burns
This video is interesting, to say the least. The masculinity of the lyrics (Open up your lovin' arms, I want some) is directly contrasted by the androgynous clothing worn in the video. The main singer, Pete Burn, is a major celebrity in the UK. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Burns
Poetry on the Iraq War
http://www.alicejamesbooks.org/turner_poem.html
Read the examples of Brian Turner's poems about his experience in Iraq. The collection of his poetry is entitled "Here, Bullet"
Read the examples of Brian Turner's poems about his experience in Iraq. The collection of his poetry is entitled "Here, Bullet"
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Madonna - Express yourself
Aha- Take on Me
This is the video from 1985 for Aha's "Take on Me". There are some special effects that were ahead of it's time but the video portrays some classic gender roles. The lead singer Morten Harket is portrayed racing a motorcycle in a comic book and plays the role of the classic bad-guy that girls hate to love. After some second thoughts, the girl reading the comic book joins him inside and they travel through the story partly in animation and in film. Eventually he saves her from motorcycle thugs and they embrace. While the video has aged, the symbols of gender roles are classic and very much alive in music videos today.
Video Killed the Radio Star
That was video killed the radio star by the buggles. This was the first video on mtv, it was very popular and started the music we see now. Not only does this video show the advance in technology, but the gender roles displayed in it. As you saw, the men controlled the technology while the woman were shocked by it. Also the women were sculpted by it, when the band had the future lab scene and when the girl turns into a women. It shows how the male is more dominant, with the lead singing being up fron with the small girl and the women, minimized in the background. Up next is Take on Me by A-ha.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Marlboro Marine
This is an interesting article from Rolling Stone that goes behind the 2004 photo that is possibly the face of the Iraq war. It is an example of American masculinity and a scary look into the post traumatic stress the war has caused to many of the American soldiers.
click here or the photo to read it.
Women “Take Care,” Men “Take Charge”
This is a pdf that lists the results of a survey of 296 corporate leaders about the differences between women and men as CEOs and people in charge. The article tries to find the reasons why for example women hold 50.3% of the leader and professional positions and yet according to Fortune only 7.9% of the Top 500 earners are women. All this just in the US.
www.catalyst.org/files/fact/Stereotype%20factsheet.pdf
A full text is available on catalyst.org, but I thought a short overview might be a little more interesting than the whole report.
www.catalyst.org/files/fact/Stereotype%20factsheet.pdf
A full text is available on catalyst.org, but I thought a short overview might be a little more interesting than the whole report.
Friday, March 28, 2008
"A Breadwinner Rethinks Gender Roles"
This is an interesting article about male versus female 'breadwinners.' Written from the perspective of a female 'breadwinner,' she poses interesting questions of the stereotypical image of a husband, 'bringing home the bacon.' Can we deal with the change?
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/27/business/27instincts.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/27/business/27instincts.html
Gender Equality Polls
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/gender/gender22a.htm
Some surveys and polls that show the gender equality between men and women in 1997.
Some surveys and polls that show the gender equality between men and women in 1997.
Manhood Around the World Conference
http://view.exacttarget.com/?j=fe4b1574726d0d757c11&m=fefd1572766301&ls=fdee17727c67027a7216717c&l=fecd17707362077d&s=fe2c11757764007a711371
Looking forward to our field trip to the "Manhood Around the World Conference" in Portland on May 13! Check it out. Love to have other folks join "man class" as we take to road, perhaps with some 9th graders.
Looking forward to our field trip to the "Manhood Around the World Conference" in Portland on May 13! Check it out. Love to have other folks join "man class" as we take to road, perhaps with some 9th graders.
Our First Pregnent Husband?
http://advocate.com/issue_story_ektid52664.asp
Are we ready for the first pregnent man? As technology advances it is becoming possible for legal "men" to carry babies. Do you agree with the shocked and negative reaction of many doctors that this couple had to deal with, or were the doctors wrong? Are we wrong to tamper with mother nature's intentions? Or is human nature itself the ability to define for ourselves who we are?
Are we ready for the first pregnent man? As technology advances it is becoming possible for legal "men" to carry babies. Do you agree with the shocked and negative reaction of many doctors that this couple had to deal with, or were the doctors wrong? Are we wrong to tamper with mother nature's intentions? Or is human nature itself the ability to define for ourselves who we are?
Guys and Dolls
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/23/fashion/23ugly.html?_r=2&ref=fashion&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
Check out this story on the ugly dolls. It seems that there is a trend for boys to play with a certain type of "ugly" doll. Why do you think ugly dolls appeal to boys? What about the dolls or the way boys play with them is distinctly masculine? Are these dolls a good idea? Would you buy one for your son?
Check out this story on the ugly dolls. It seems that there is a trend for boys to play with a certain type of "ugly" doll. Why do you think ugly dolls appeal to boys? What about the dolls or the way boys play with them is distinctly masculine? Are these dolls a good idea? Would you buy one for your son?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)