Gender Themes that Shape Boys and Young Men

To grow up from a boy to a men is long process with rules along gender themes. Many gender themes are portrayed in popular music are seen in both the books Raising Cain and Self-made Man. These gender themes describe how boys should act and develop into men. Music from the artists Our Lady Peace, Neil Young, and Of Montréal display these important gender roles of boys and men in their lyrics.
One major gender theme is how conforming to masculinity affects boys and men. Boys want to be strong and big. Boys been taught that these qualities define you as a man. Boys and men do not want to be seen as weak, and want to maintain the figure that society as granted as manly. In Raising Cain, boys learn this at a young age and do not want to be seen weak or as a wimp. “Most boys don’t want to risk being seen as a wimp-a ‘punk’. And many boys don’t know when to walk away” (223). This leads to violence that is natural for boys. To show emotion about an issue, or to not resolve something by violence can be seen as un-masculine. In the song Boy by Our Lady Peace the lyrics resemble the relationship between father and son like in Raising Cain, and the emotional strain the son is enduring. “I’ll be there to pick you up, and dust you off, and bring you home, and make you feel loved”. It can refer to the boy’s emotional frustration, with the lyrics ‘dust you off’ showing that he could have been fighting. Also showing no matter how anger his son due to the constraints of masculinity, he will be there to pick him up from school and care for him.
The rules of masculinity are another major gender theme throughout the whole novel Self-Made Man. Ned discovers that to keep his guise up, she must learn the boundaries and masculinity and how men act. When she is a woman, she is always stared down the street by watching men, showing their dominance. Yet when she becomes a man, they only look at her quickly, acknowledging her dominance too. “Only this time they didn’t stare. On the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back” (Vincent, 2). This shows how Ned gains dominance over women in this situation. This is common and can be compared to A Man Need a Maid by Neil Young. I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid, find a place nearby for her to stay. Just someone to keep my house clean, fix my meals and go away. This shows how man have a dominant figure over females and that the woman caters to fit the man’s needs. It is hard for Ned to believe that being a male gains you that dominance with others. Neil Young is singing that he needs someone to help him, but not to be in a relationship with him. Also Ned learns to rid her woman qualities when she laughs in a high pitch laugh or almost asked another guy if he’s read a book by a certain women. Her experience and this song show similarities of the guidelines of masculinity.
Another gender theme is the roles that each gender takes on and put up. This can be seen with Ned when he is at bars and when he is dating. “When I’d approached as Ned they had been sitting facing the bar. They had only bothered to turn halfway around to talk to me, their faces always in profile” (Vincent, 98). This shows the front the women that women put up but also shows that women are always on the defensive when confronted by men. They are quiet, and after looking you over, ignore you or turn you down. This is the opposite for men, who are constantly on the offensive was dating. This gender theme is constant in the world today. The band Of Montreal has a song called She’s a Rejecter that displays this gender theme. “My, my, you busted me like a Robocop, Strike me with your riding crop, I'm forever going celibate tomorrow, But tonight, like success, knows no shame.” This line from the song describes this confrontation between men and women. ‘My, my, you busted me like a Robocop’ describes how the woman stared him down, and turned him down with ‘strike me with you riding crop’. This shows the typical situation then young men face in their lives. ‘But tonight, like success, knows no shame” shows how he is going to keep trying. In Raising Cain, the issue of shame comes up, and boys and young men are sensitive to disrespect. This happens when young men get turned down, and need to learn to feel no shame and to try again. “Because they are caught in the trap of trying to satisfy the impossible requirements of the traditional masculine self-image, boys are sensitive to any perceived disrespect.” (223). In the song, he is going to try, and try again, even if he keeps getting turned down. This fits the gender theme of the role and fronts that men and women follow. This song describes was happened with Ned in Self-Made Man in her dating experience and how it affects boys and young men emotionally in Raising Cain.
The gender themes described in Raising Cain and Self-Made Man has many similarities with songs by Our Lady Peace, Neil Young, and Of Montreal. Even with these similarities, there are many more themes in other songs and books in the world. These themes help shape boys to men, and set the rules for how young men should act. Masculinity is the major factor and theme that creates these guidelines, and sets the standards for men and boys alike today. These books and songs help describe some of the gender themes that boys and young men are experiencing through their development.

Links to lyrics:

She's A Rejecter-Of Montreal
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858624061

Boy-Our Lady Peace
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858553190

A Man Needs A Maid-Neil Young
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=80406